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Well this week was something different.



Last Friday I got a call about work this week. I was excited. When Sean got home on Friday, he told me the shitty news. He was gonna be working overtime all week. That is nice when it comes to payday, but he had to get up at 4:30 am every morning and go to bed around 8 every night. He doesn't get home from work until 5:30. Between eating and him doing his shower, I didn't get to spend anytime with him all week.



But to recap what happened to make it hectic. I got hit by a kid earlier this week who was misbehaving. Then one of the teachers died at the school and everyone got shifted off the normalcy. I've been getting over a cold and my chest has been giving me issues. Yesterday I found out some bad news about my disability case, but I'm not too worried. Today I got hit in the head by a stray ball in the gym and then a little girl fell and broke open her head.



Good things this week were my haircut and the giant lollipop the little girls gave me the other day. I'm just hoping this weekend will be better then the week. I am excited to spend some time with my boyfriend. I miss him. :(

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sPerAnZa
04:03 Sep 25 2010

Hmm. Sounds like you work at a daycare. I do too sweetie. I got smacked in the leg by a little trike that fell from the freaking sky today. :) Then I saw this little blonde blur shoot past me like a humming bird on meth when I shouted who did that. I love my kids so very very much. My bruises are like a little carry around photo album of stories.

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Abstract
22:31 Sep 25 2010

Sort of. At an elementary school.



I guess it's kind of the same thing, just no trikes falling from the sky.

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So, I have been making a few lifestyle changes to better my health. I'm not exactly losing weight, but I'm feeling better (minus having a cold)



Instead of drinking Mt Dew all the time, I have been drinking apple juice or cranberry juice. We don't buy the bottle of it since that gets costly, but we do get a few things of the frozen concentrate. In the end it's still juice. Just a lot cheaper.



Now, I know people will say that all the juice is bad for me because of the sugar content. But I can drink a LOT of Mt Dew in a day. I haven't cut soda completely out, just cut back. I've noticed I've had less issues with heartburn and getting UTIs. I have always been prone to UTIs, the extra input of cranberry just keeps that at bay nicely.



I do a lot of walking at work now. It's nice but I will say my chest is giving me problems. Eventually I will either get something for that or I will try to build myself up against it. I'm not discrediting the fact that it might be giving me issues because I have a small head cold and the wind whips around me a lot outside. Time will tell. I am getting over being sick for the most part. My nose isn't giving me issues as bad, and I'm coughing up white goo. White typically is a good sign. Means no infection :D



I am back to avoiding Red 40 completely. I tried to ease my body into it and it's not pleasant. I can have really tiny amounts, but I am taking it easy.



Dinners are always pretty balanced since I am the one doing all the cooking. Last night was goulash with veggies tossed in. Night before was chicken with veggies over rice. Tonight I have no clue what I'm making. But I'm pretty sure Sean hinted at BBQ chicken. I might do that Friday and heat up leftovers tonight. I'm lazy XD



I know I need to get more sleep then I have been. I just have issues sleeping well. Sean likes the room really really cold at night so I freeze my butt off under 2 blankets. I normally lay back down for a few hours before work on my terms. I also steal all the pillows then.



I'm going to slowly start working into losing a bit of weight, but I want to take things slowly. I think for myself, rushing into a huge diet change or exercise plan isn't smart. I know how I react mentally to that. If I work myself up to it at a slow pace, I'll do better at maintaining it.



But long road ahead. My self esteem is getting better and I am doing a lot better at controlling my panic attacks. Driving helps a lot. When we go places, he lets me drive and when we get back home before we get out of the car he tells me what mistakes I made and what I need to work on. Last night he told me I didn't make any mistakes. He said I did really good in the parking lot with the backing up thing and that I'm getting better. Let's hope I can keep this up. :D

COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
23:43 Sep 22 2010

:) Seems maybe the man in your life is good for you as well.

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sahahria
00:06 Sep 27 2010

Small steps = life long changes :) GO you! :)

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This seriously sucks right now. I went to bed around 10:30 like normal. Passed out rather fast since I felt tired, but around 2 I woke up for some reason. I decided to get something to drink and go to the bathroom and then try to get back to sleep.



I started to lay there and start thinking, next thing I know, I'm wide awake and it's almost 4.



x_x



I am supposed to be up in an hour to do my normal morning routine. I ain't gonna try to fall back asleep at this point. Just going to be ninja and let Sean sleep.



I thought I was doing good so far. But I think my night terror the other night really got to me.



Tis suckage. Guess I'll try to nap later.

So this year is the first time since I have been adult that I will be spending Halloween not working.



What do adults do for Halloween? O.O



I asked my boyfriend's family that at dinner and they all asked me "uhhhh, you have always worked Halloween? Why?"



Which ended up springing the discussion about how I made money scaring the crap out of people for the last few years and then I got asked to help one of them do a small haunted house. -_-



Joy.

As I have mentioned before in previous entries, I have this thing where I'm allergic to Red 40.



I have been getting the thought that if I slowly work it into my diet in small amounts I can eventually build myself back up against it.



I have been doing that the past few weeks with small candies that have it and drinks and such.



Last night I thought I was ready for a step up. I have been craving Twizzlers so we bought some fun sized ones for me to limit myself. I figured one wouldn't hurt me last night so I ate one. I ate another one this morning.



I regret it. I would like to work my body into being able to handle it, but it just doesn't seem to want to work.



Red 40 is in practically anything that tastes good. If it's red, purple, pink, or blue...It has that dye in it. Especially red stuff. I don't even look at the labels anymore if the item is red. I know better.



Looks like I'm still shunned from stuff like pop tarts and toaster strudels :(

Well tomorrow I start working at the school.



Slightly excited, of course I got told this while fighting with a website that refused to download this damn thing I need.



But yeah.





Steak for dinner tonight.

So this morning started off like it normally does for me when he works.



He gets out of bed, goes to the bathroom. I hear him stumble into the bathroom and I roll over and look at the clock.



Of course, it's only 6:28 in the morning. He got up before the alarm again just so the alarm wouldn't wake me. (because his cussing at the damn door not opening right doesn't wake me up?)



He always comes back into the bedroom and starts digging around for his clothes in the dark. Half of the time I tell him to just turn the fucking light on with my head buried in the pillow. I sense the brightness and finally crawl out of bed and toss my house clothes on and we go downstairs.



Today I need to get those pictures off the camera at some point. But I also have to call and set up a doctors appointment at the mental health place. Not something I look forward to.



Friday my physical id showed up in the mail. That afternoon we headed down to the social services building to see what kind of help I can get right now.



I have prescription coverage as of today, but doctors aren't covered. I have to go see a mental health doctor this week and have them assess me before I can get medical assistance. Starting next week I will be getting money from the state because I'm in appeals for social security disability. The catch with this money is that when I get my disability back pay, that money will have to be paid back. I'm totally ok with this since it makes sense. The money I'm getting is called SSA/SSI Interim payments and they come from the state. I'll only get 200 dollars a month right now, but I'll also get about 200 in food stamps because of the same reason.



I am perfectly ok with this. I just have to see the doctor and have Sean's parents verify the date I moved in. They signed those papers last night for me.



I don't want to sound like I am leeching off the government for money, but I wasn't trying for cash when I went in there Friday. I simply went for health insurance stuff, they pulled up my records and saw the fact I have an open SSA/SSI case and told me that I am eligible for this money. Which is great considering right now I have no money at all.



So today is phone calls and staying warm. Nothing more unless I get an appointment for this afternoon.

So yesterday we were planning on going out on the four wheelers to take pictures but Sean's father asked for his help with the boat.



He was gone most of the day and when he got home he was sore and just wanted to relax.



I hope when they get done with the boat and car today that we can go, but that would really depend on if it warms up. It's only about 35 degrees outside at the moment and I still don't have clothing for that type of weather XD



I'm totally huddled up in the bedroom with my fleece pj pants on and a sweatshirt.



Tonight dinner will be a pot roast again. I'll toss it in the slow cooker in a bit :D